First Trip Together – Separate Rooms or Separate Beds #DatingWithPassports

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So, you’ve made it. You found another person with a passport that wants to date you. Not only that, but you think they are the best thing since sliced bread: they look good and kiss even better.

Let’s say you’re about two months into the dating game and someone suggests a unique date idea: let’s go on a trip. Maybe it’s to the coast to have a weekend at the beach, or it’s a road trip to see the Grand Canyon or even another country! Either way you have to decide: separate rooms, separate beds or if you’re really on that level – the same bed in the same room.

I asked several people about their preferences. See the responses below.


” I would share the room with two beds, I wouldn’t go on the trip if I didn’t think we could share a room at that point.” – Woman, New York City, 37

“Personally, I wouldn’t go on a trip if we shared a room. I’m comfortable paying my own way. If he offers,  I may be comfortable in him paying as well.”  – Woman, Abu Dhabi, 31

“Share a room for sure. Anything resembling dating and would share the room. I couldn’t imagine going on something like a dating trip then go to separate rooms at the end of the night.” – Man, Kenya, 35

 “We didn’t actually go on a trip til after we lived together so we already were sharing a room. Wouldn’t have seemed right to sleep in separate rooms. I guess a lot could come into it. If you haven’t slept with someone: separate rooms, religion, a hotels rules. Lots of things.” – Woman, Scotland, 27

 “I’ll say “out of respect, I’ll sleep on the couch or floor until you feel comfortable sharing”. If they say cool…then I’ll oblige. If they say it’s cool to share …then I’ll ask how they normally sleep (nude, spread out, very independent (i.e. don’t touch me), etc.) …talking through it can be fun. I learned this the hard way. I didn’t do this before and just assumed. Yes it worked but I still don’t know their preference because I didn’t have the conversation.” – Man, California, 30

“I move slower than most so this isn’t going to be your typical guy response. But I would like for us to share a room, because we are traveling together and I would want to know she is okay. Anytime I am doing something or experiencing something with a woman – I feel protective.

So her being in a different room would be awkward, because I would want to be looking out for her. Now as far as what occurs within the room physically, I would talk about it in advance so there are clear expectations. If it is too soon for one of us to be physical then we should simply agree to what is expected and two mature adults should be able to handle that.” – Man, 32, New Jersey

“Shared rooms. You can choose separate beds, but separate rooms is weird if you are dating this person.” – Woman, 27, Trinidad

“It really depends on what my partner would like better. but personally – shared.” – Man, 32, South Korea

“Get separate rooms! Travelling and shaking up the daily routine can sometimes destabilize people and bring out the worst in them. As such, you want to make sure that you at least have a place to retreat to if the going gets tough on your trip. Moreover, if you’re in a new relationship and haven’t yet gotten intimate (and aren’t necessarily ready to do so), sharing a room may force expectations regarding what happens after the lights go out. Awkward position to be in for both parties!” – Woman, Hong Kong, 33

“Separate.. 60 days.. I don’t know you like that.. lol.. I would have to sleep with 1 eye open.” – Woman, Texas, 35

“I would be open to either option, whatever makes her the most comfortable. If she left it up to me, I would choose the most cost effective option.” – Man, Texas, 31

“I’m pretty sure I have,…Just because you hang with a woman doesn’t mean you have to sleep with her” – Man, Washington DC, 35

“Hell no. Not separate rooms. Not in my wildest dreams book separate rooms. If I don’t got that vibe, I ain’t flying no one anywhere. What kind of guy does that…not my kind.”-  Man, Chicago, 30

“If it was me, it would probably be separate rooms. But it really does depend on how comfortable you are with the person. My coworker just got back from Vegas and she shared a room with a man she met for the first time. She felt completely comfortable with him and had a great time. So it really just depends.” – Woman, New Jersey, 27

“Shared, I’m not the see you as a brother type.” – Man, Georgia, 32

“I would be a gentlemen and not force her to be uncomfortable, unless she likes to share a room. Sometimes a woman has mention, please get two beds. This is cool, because she trusts you, but same time don’t wanna make you feel she’s ready for anything else. No problems!” – Man, Kuwait, 47

“Share a room, but just make things clear regarding what you are looking for. If you are not looking to hook up yet. 1 room with 2 beds” – Man, 28 , New York City

“Shared rooms if you are comfortable with each other, or already intimate, or have a clear understanding of where ya’ll stand and you are good with that, etc.”  – Woman, 33, New Jersey

“Separate rooms if you guys are not on that level and either you don’t want any misunderstanding or perhaps not comfortable.” – Woman, 35, Virginia

Yes, because most likely we are traveling together and I don’t see the point of separating just to sleep. Besides, it would probably be a money saver as well (assuming its just the two of us). – Woman, California, 33

“Same room, separate beds….unless she wants the same bed. I probably wouldn’t even go on a trip with a girl unless we been dating for enough time & we already had sex.”  – Man, Connecticut, 34

“No unless I was royally wealthy, we share.” – Man, Ohio, 30

“If we go on a trip we are XXXXX, BUT if I go on a trip with you, I’m emotionally connected”  – Woman, Miami, 33

“Hopefully double beds will be okay, but if she’d rather have a separate room that’s okay too. But I can almost guarantee there is something blocking her from trusting you. Unless I am a stranger, I think being in the same room is essential… It just feels right.” – Man, California, 35

“I would be open to either option, whatever makes her the most comfortable. If she left it up to me, I would choose the most cost effective option.” Man, Indiana, 30


Bottom line: Communicate with your partner about expectations. It may be a bit awkward at first, but it will save you any type of uneasiness later – if you’re both on the same page. People are different. We come from different backgrounds and have varying beliefs. None of these answers are right or wrong, just honest. Find someone who shares and respects your mindset  and go have the time of your life!!

So what would you do? Shared or separate room? Leave your comments below! 🙂

– Dating With Passports  

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3 thoughts on “First Trip Together – Separate Rooms or Separate Beds #DatingWithPassports

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